I could never bring myself to share that picture before. It just hurt so much because I wanted to give you what you had so lovingly and patiently waited for. In the days that followed her death, I assumed you would forget all about her even though her pictures are all around your house. I thought you were so young that you wouldn't remember a baby you never got to really know. Now, two years later, we have a very expressive little four year old boy, and it just makes my heart swell even more that you still mention your sister almost every day. You are the one that mentions her name to us the most when it seems like the rest of us cannot speak her name as often because we don't want to be sad. You tell me that Mattie is in your heart and that you are going to do things for her like make her a birthday card or a cake. You have been such a comfort to me in these last two years, and I know I have babied you more than most three and four year old's would like. I still need to hold you and cuddle you because you were the baby I needed when I couldn't bring your sister home. It is very hard for me to put into words just how much you have meant to me. You give me so many scares with your fearlessness. I have almost nightly nightmares about something bad happening to you. You send my anxiety levels through the roof! But I love you more than words could ever express! You will always be my baby boy! I hope you never lose your amazing ability to love. As we celebrate Mattie's second birthday in heaven, I know that you will help us show your sister how much we all love and remember her!
Your grateful Mommy