Another month passed without you. I have been dreading getting closer and closer to your one year birthday in heaven. I just don't know how to handle it without you. I want to celebrate you, but how do I celebrate the saddest day of our lives? You should be here getting ready to devour your first cake. Would you be like big brother Evan and look like you ate a smurf with icing all over you, or would you be more like big brother Brody and prefer to use a fork? Maybe you would be like your cousin Emma and just stick your finger in your cake and cry with frustration because you don't know what to do with it? Of course, I am sure your big brothers would be there to show you what to do. I wonder if you would be a big eater these days like your brother Brody.
I wonder if you would be trying to take your first steps or if you would be a little slower like Brody. I wonder if you would have liked the water at the pool and splashed your big brothers. As the months pass, I seem to have a growing list of things I wish I knew about you. I guess that is going to be my new normal now. I will still be wondering on the days you should have started school, graduated from high school, chosen a college, and the days when you would likely be dating and then getting married. We are just never going to stop missing or loving you.
If you looked like Evan this month, you may look like this:
And if you looked more like Brody, you would look like this:
As tradition (because mommy is nothing if not traditional/OCD), here are some of the cute outfits you would likely have worn this month:
|A sweet little nautical dress. One of my favorite themes.|
|I love the delicate and sweet look of eyelet lace.|
|And a bathing suit would have been a necessity for our first trip to the pool this month.|